Hello, it’s me.

I was wondering if after all these years you’d like to meet? To go over…..everything.

Shout out to Adele for lending me her beautiful quotes to start off my post. And yes, I am wondering if after all these years ( 3 to be exact) you would like to go over EVERYTHING?

Okay. So maybe not everything, I’ll spare you the boring stuff 😉

It has been about 3 years since I wrote on here, but I assure you, I still visit. Every time I get a question, I am on here to answer. So please continue asking, I love being able to help out or provide some sort of reassurance.

I was looking back at old posts and ohmygoodness, I was quite the angry little elf towards the end wasn’t I? Granted, I was in A LOT of pain (which I had forgotten!) and I was unemployed which meant I had a lot of spare time to be angry and complain. Good news is that, as you can all tell, the issues were all resolved. Yes, it took a while, and yes, there were communication issues, but all is good in the world of Ashleysjaw! What a relief to be able to say that.

What prompts me to write this update is my most recent up taking! I was informed that Dr. Gunson and Dr. Mac would be visiting, so obviously, I had to attend the gathering. These doctors have become quite a part of my life. Everytime they come up to visit, I am there.

Today, all is good with my jaw. I still get sore muscles if I’m really stressed or if I was to eat a bucket full of tootsie pops, which I wouldn’t do haha (or would I…..) and the evil perpetrators that you may know as “braces” were removed years ago. OhmygoshthankgoodnessIneverthoughttheywouldleave.

My teeth still have the bonding that Dr. Mac did which was done to elongate my tooth so that they would fit my overall bite better and serve to maximize it’s overall function. I have a permanent retainer on the bottom teeth…I know, I was bummed out too. But the doctors explained that I need to have this as my bite was still settling in, yes, years after my surgery.

So I couldn’t wait to see the doctors as I had two questions I really wanted to ask. They are the following:

  1. When can I get the retainer out?
  2. Why does my jaw crack (not a pop sound…a CRACK sound) everytime I lie on my right side. Specific, I know.
  3. Okay I said I had 2 questions but I remembered I had this one too. I was getting my teeth cleaned and I was informed I had a “bump” in my mouth. This thing I like to call Henry, felt HUGE. I can only feel it if I go poking around mind you.

So, I got my responses in real time, which was awesomeeeeeee. They are as follows:

  1. Dr. Mac will let you know.
  2. Dr. Gunson showed me a whole diagram of it and explained that it is air pressure and that a simple softer pillow would resolve the issue.
  3. This is in fact NOT a bone growth (good to know my periodontist got that one right, huh?) It is in fact……and I quote “your plate.”

My plate? What do you mean my plate? Like for food? Like a platter?

Gunson explained (through the use of real x-ray jaw photographs) that I have a plate in my mouth that was inserted during surgery.

Hey, I am as surprised as you. I knew there was a lot of metal in there but hot damn, a plate!!? And I still don’t ring at the metal detector?

But anyways, the skin thinned out and is causing the plate to be more prominent and noticeable. No biggie! As Gunson said he would be happy to take it out BUT that would mean going back to the West Coast etc etc. So for now, I’m going to let the plate stay. Call me The Terminator.

I will have to schedule with Dr. Mac to go and see him so that he can make some shaping and other esthetic and functional changes. This is in order to make the final touches to my overall surgery and recovery process. I know,  I thought I was done back in ’12.

So as I look back on the whole process, I still get anxious. It was very traumatic, and going back into my blog I had forgotten just how horrible it could really be at times. However, if I had  not gotten the surgery? I would be so miserable, constantly hurting, and probably not able to eat a sandwich  whole.

As for the doctors? I would not have picked another group of professionals as this team is the best of best. Yes, it can get frustrating. I mean, let’s remember that each doctor is in a different part of the country. BUT, they work so hard together and I know that they want every patient of theirs to have the best results possible.

I feel very blessed to be where I am today with the jaw that I have.

Please send me any questions you may have, I am always very o happy to reply 🙂 🙂

 

 

UPDATE…that isn’t really an update.

I want to update all of you, but usually an update talks about something exciting…and this isn’t really exciting. Which is good? When you’ve had a surgery and you have nothing to say about it a year and a half later I think that’s a good thing, no?

How’s my bite? Dandy. It’s just hanging out, no wait, not like that type of hanging out. It’s not hanging out of the joints. Yikes, I need to be careful with my word usage!
My bite feels great. My teeth close down the way they’re supposed to and I can eat comfortabley. The ONE thing I’m still hesitant about is apples (my life is so hard.) I don’t plan on biting into an apple at any point, like, ever. I have this image that I will bite into one and my front teeth will just chip off and I’ll be left with sharp, crunchy, uneven teeth. I have officially sunk down into my chair and my tongue is running across my front teeth because apparently just thinking of that image will cause it to happen.

Good news is that I no longer have those awful nightmares where I would close my teeth together and not be able to open my mouth again. All the while I would be biting down so hard that my teeth would just start to break off. I’d be there trying to open my mouth up but it would just keep closing down tighter and tighter. Yuck!

So yes, my teeth are doing well. I went to Dr.Mac the other week and he bonded my front teeth making them look bigger and longer. I love them! They make my mouth look more complete and less “sideways.” I have a sideways smile still, just a little but I notice it in photos. Apparently its an easy fix though, just a few thousand bucks, some removal of my gums (it would be the third time) and I’d be all set! I think I’m going to wait that one out…for a few years….until Im a millionaire….and have bought my parents a boat to thank them for spending so much on my mouth.

My face in general is fine, Im completely used to my “new look.” The most obvious change in my opinion in my cheekbones. In certain lighting they really pop out, which I like. I have to spend some time in the mirror alternating the lights to find the perfect angle where I can just float across any room Im in and have my cheekbones be prominent. I still stand behind the fact that I should have gotten a nose job but according to Gunson it wasn’t needed. I trust him so I think if he thought I needed one, he would have mentioned it. Meanwhile I live everday hoping I’ll get hit in the face by a football so I
A) Can get a nose job because as the doctor would put it “its going to be lopsided, causing complicated sinus issues and ridicule”

B) Not pay for it. Hopefully the football that hits me is one thrown by Tom Brady so I don’t feel guilty about the amount of money involved. I don’t think I could bring myself to force a third grader to pay for my nose job.

I guess only time will tell.

I have already let family and friends know what kind of nose I would like IF the situation came up that I was “under” and the doctor felt the surgery had to be performed right away.
Option A) Lindsay Lohan

Option B) Hilary Duff

Mind you, both of these lovely ladies have had their beaks redone but I just want people to know that should the time come that I am hit in the face and require a nose job, I would like the following. I look ahead in life, not ashamed.

Eating is all back to normal although I try to not bite into crunchy things. I’m more of a “pull a piece off” kind of gal, just to keep things safe.

So what’s next for me? Well, veneers are a possibility and a recommendation for the future. Not the near future but eventually these babies are going to fall off and I’m going to have to get the teeth re-bonded. As previously mentioned, I am also a candidate for getting my gums “cut” to get rid of my lopsided smile which mind you is very minimal but it’s one of those things that is quick to fix (although costly.)

Please send me questions if you have any! I love hearing from all you lovely people, no shame in asking questions whether weird, stupid, or just common sense. A question, is a question, and I love them all!

xoxo From me and my mouth.

P

 

p.s Apologies for not posting any pictures (which would have included ones of chipped teeth, apples, lindsay lohan, and yours truly.) WordPress has been having severe issues posting my pictures! I’ll look into it and update you folks.

Rome

Hola todos!
I am officially in Rome, Italy and the jaw is doing well. It gets tired every now and then which makes me think

“is this going to happen for the rest of my life?”

because honestly my jaw cannot take naps and therefor when it gets tired….I’m kind of out of options. Not talking would be mentally and emotionally distressing.

Being in Rome is quite stressful so my muscles get soar and then you can catch me massaging my face as much as I can. I swear there are knots…like the ones you get in your back. Is that possible? And would putting either A) Bengay or B) Icy,Hot on my jaw be a bad idea?

Im being so careful with what I eat because I am terrified of chipping a tooth and having to get it fixed here. Not only do I not know where I would go but insurance OH WAIT insurance doesn’t cover that haha SILLY ME. I would be stuck paying OUT OF POCKET again. Ah I miss the days of chipping my tooth every week.

But back to the positive side, I haven’t chipped one yet. I still have a chipped tooth YES but it’s the one that is always chipped and refused to be complete. Ever. It’s my little trouble-canine…always insisting on being a rebel that one. Trouble maker.

Dr. Mac gave me the thumbs up email to go to Rome which was a relief. Yes, I asked them. I wanted to make sure that it was okay 🙂

I’ve been having severe hip pain that has caused me not to be able to run/jog so I called Dr. Gunson from Italy asking him if I could take this prescribed medicine a family friend and doctor thought could help me. He got right back to me which was SUPER awesome of him and his office.

Turns out that I am on the largest dosage of piroxicam and taking more would be dangerous and cause a hole in my stomach? Or no wait, that’s if I take Advil with it. Which is really sad because I am a spokesperson for Advil (not officially, more like around my friends…college campuses for the post weekend hangover…the usual)

First of all, wow.

Second, if I am already on an antinflammatory and I am being prescribed another one for my hip, why does my hip hurt? Shouldn’t I be so medicated on anti inflammation meds that Im just livin’ la vida?
So I got off the piroxicam, took the other antinflammatory for my hip, and now Im back on the piroxicam.

Wooo, that was complicated.

 

 ❤  ❤ 

Villagers Gone Wild

I went to my dentist appointment in Southern Vermont to get my chipped tooth fixed. There were two so that should be plural and it went well. The dentist was very nice and the drive wasn’t too bad. Rap tunes kept me company, and just made everything better 😉

The area itself was very isolated and I feared the village people would come at me with their axes.

Today, I noticed one of the teeth already chipped. Yay. You may be wondering how come I’m not more bothered and that it because I have succumbed to the anger and overridden it. It is now mine.

I did call Dr. Chira and let her know that I was very frustrated because I don’t want to leave the country (which I am next week) with a fang. Needless to say, I think she’s going to appreciate the voice mail. Its just a baby break but still.

Is this normal?

Why is it happening?

Is THIS why they want to me get fake teeth all over? So they don’t break all the time?

Now that I’m reliving the moments I’m getting angry again. It is SO frustrating to spend more then 250 dollars to fix a tooth and then have it chip. Of course, it’s never refundable and I DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY. They have explained it to me so many times but everytime I just don’t get it!

Do you?

Update.

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Dear followers/new visitors/stumble-upon-my-blog’ers,

Not much has changed with my jaw. I’ve been beyond stressed lately and every now and then will find myself in excruciating jaw pain. I’m confident it’s muscle related and not joint related. After my appointment with Dr. Mac a month ago he said all that was left to do was esthetic things including re-shaping of some of my teeth.

Mind you these are all things that will cost a lot of $$$ so they may have to wait. There is talk of doing some gum-reduction (yum) and some veneers. I told the doctors that frankly, celebrities can keep their wide, blinding white veneers. Im fine with my teeth like this. I don’t need my mouth to look extravagant. It’s a mouth….

Anywhos, apart from that I am still taking all my vitamins (all thirteen of them) again, yum. I’m still on the piroxicam that is an anti inflammatory but might as well be candy as I swear it does nothing. I emailed Dr.Mac telling him about flights to New York City for 45 dollars and asked him, and I quote “Do you see any upcoming appointments with me in the next weeks because these plane tickets are really cheap.”

No answer.

I guess I’ll stick to paying 300 plus dollars for those wonderful last minute flights.

Apart from working and not biting into anything super hard I’ve been doing a whole lot of this:

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New York City Part 2

Before I update you on my medical status I just MUST tell you all about my voyage to the big apple.

Mother and I departed from our home at 5 o’clock and arrive in New York City at about 12. We were staying at the Westin and the GPS got us there by 12:30…right when my appointment was to start. We valet the car.

I go into the hotel with our bags and ask the bell man if he can hold them for us. He looks on his computer and tells me I am not a registered guest. I s-p-e-l-l the name out for him because obviously he is wrong and I am correct. After driving down for so long and being late (I hate being late) I was in no mood for this little mans sass. I tried again but to no avail, I was stuck bringing my bags with me to the appointment.

I walk in the door and Dr. Mac looks at me and goes, sarcastically “I was just telling them that I have had it up to HERE with you.” I look at him, point to my jaw and (being totally honest) say..

“I am not happy, Im in pain, lets fix this…now.”

We made up later on.

After my appointment I rush back to the hotel with my bags. For some reason the hotel is different looking? I had gone up a flight of stairs with an esclator so I start going around asking for this damn escalator leading me to the front desk. I try going to a higher floor and reach an office where the lady tells me “ma’am, there is no escalator here.”

Of course, I am fuming at this point. I’m in pain, tired, and frankly…I had eaten alot for Christmas so I was feeling slightly sluggish and just slower in general. I am sure that this woman in her office is giving me a hard time because shes upset she has to spend her days talking to annoying people on the phone.

RAIN CHECK: THAT IS EXACTLY WHAT I DO FOR A LIVING.

So I’m really getting angry at this point but I maintain it. It is not her fault she put on her bad attitude pants on this morning. I go back towards the escalator and say ” I KNOW I went up an escalator!”

I check in and go to my room.

Next day I go to my appointment to hear the update from Mac. As soon as I’m done, I rush back to the hotel to get the car that I had valet-ed. They tell me it’s going to be twenty minutes and I don’t have twenty minutes. I am paying sixty dollars for 24 hours and have 15 minutes to get my car. I tell them I will go get the car myself.

I’m trying to find out how to get my car and ON THE WAY realise that upon arrival I had gone to the wrong Westin. Holy muffin-top. Could I be that stupid? And it’s finally dawns on me that yes, I went to the wrong hotel.

Of course I try to blame it on the valet who should have made sure I was a registered guest but I move on. It hits me that I am now the person with the attitude. NOT A GOOD LOOK , NOT. A. GOOD. LOOK.

So I’m rushing around from 34th to Broadway to zanadoo to wherever looking for my damn car. I get to the garage that tells me I cant get my car because they will bring it to me and I just look at him and say

“I am here to see a dr. I parked in the wrong hotel. I have sixty dollars for you and that is it. ”

He let me pay just 30 🙂 IloveNewYork.

An hour and a half into our trip mother and I decide to get some food. “Mom, you got the bags from the hotel right?”

She just looks at me.

She forgot the bags in the hotel.

My reaction? Laughing. More like hysterically laughing. Mommy was crying 😦 which I didn’t like, but now she laughs so it’s become a funny story.

We turned around and went back to get our bags. What was supposed to have taken six hours took about ten as we then had to drive IN the snow storm.

We made it home safely, thank God.

And now to update you.

So my jaw was basically “twisted” in that my back teeth were not touching. This was cauing my muscles to strain thus causing severe pain in my skull/jaw/face. Apparently I have to talk slower and less.

I told Dr. Mac that this was simply not possible and had they told me this before surgery I would have been very honest and would have let them know that me talking less was just unrealistic.

He said to fix the problem he would make a few bite adjustments and then I would need to make sure my teeth don’t move. Apparently, I also need to do some more jaw exercises as my opening and closing is not up to capacity.

So it seems like it went okay. He mentioned the possibility that I would need invisalign or brackets on the back teeth to which I simply glared. There is not enough money in the world to get me to put brackets back on my teeth. I also shouldn’t HAVE to spend any more money. I am in the final stages of my journey and that’s that.

I have chosen to simply ignore the chance that I would have to spend even more money because it’s just too nauseating and I can’t handle it.

For now I’m wearing my retainers as much as possible and doing my jaw exercises and much as possible and YES I am trying to talk less.

It’s quite the challenge though.

Leave a message after the beep.

Finally went to the “stranger” DR yesterday and poor man, I was NOT happy to be there. I don’t like any random doctor touching my face but I was willing to give him a chance because im desperate. I’m still in pain and frankly I’m mentally and physically exhausted from this whole ordeal.

So anyways, he comes into the examination room and it’s tense. You can feel it in the air, big time.  He looks at my mouth and says “I can fix the tooth, but it wont help the pain.”

I automatically start spewing out comments and questions on why he wasnt made aware that my problem was pain? Did the doctors not TELL him what was going on? I dont care about my chipped tooth at this point, I care about my 100,000 dollar reconstructed face and intense pain

Turns out, he didn’t know about the pain and I left empty handed. I had nothing done. No fixing the chip, nothing. Good part was that he didn’t charge me anything. I think he was afraid of me.

I never cried after my surgery but yesterday the tears came down 😦 I was just so over tired from everything. Not hearing back from anyone, feeling completely shut out of the world by my doctors who I have given so much of myself, my time, and work too.

To ease the stress I went to the gym where I recieved a call from Gunsons office. He apologized for the pain and called what I was going through “a complete nightmare.” I agreed with him and felt so relieved he was on my side.

He asked me if I was on the pain medication, which I told him I was and said I should even take a tranquilizer at night because me being stressed means Im clenching my jaw and that’s causing the pain to worsen. He said he wishes he lived in the neighboorhood and could see me but unfortunutly that’s just not possible.

His final say was that we just need to get me to NYC to figure out what to do.

He reminded me of how great a doctor he is, and how the whole team looks out for me. Even if they don’t reply as fast as I would appreciate, I felt much better getting that call from him. Felt like a big hug and a cookie.