Hi everyone!

wrting from my my hotel room so I’m going to be super quick!! Appointment seems to have gone well yesterday. dr Mac said my jaw was twisted a little but it’s a quick fix. Today, he’s going to do some more remodeling so I will update you all.

 

thank you SO much all of you for the continued support!

I have finally been in contact with all three members of the team today and I am feeling relieved. Scared and still upset, but there is a sense of intense relief from knowing that they haven’t forgotten about me.

Dr .  has two trauma patients he is taking care of so I understand he can’t get back to me right away. Those people are priority, absolutely.

That’s all I needed to hear. I understand and I can wait!!

Dr. Mac turns out, is in the hospital with his flu-infection thing. I understand that too, and again, I can wait, especially because it sounds like he’s very sick! Boooo 😦

It comes down to this:

Give me a response. Let me know that I am not forgotten.

I understand things happen, I really do, but how am I supposed to know this is all happening if you don’t tell me?

I’m not sure where I left off. Somewhere between exhausted and in pain. Now, I’m frustrated and in pain. I already updated you all about my appointment with the “stanger” doctor who basically told me he had only been made aware of my chipped tooth and nothing else. Well… That night after finally breaking down and crying, I got a call from Gunson (after mom called their office…she said she was nice, but the promptness of their phone call leads me to think differently? Lioness!) apologizing and telling me he would call me back after talking to Dr. Mac and Dr. Chira.

No call.

Now, I understand they’re busy BUT I sent an email explaining that I am in so much pain. I am taking my piroxicam anti-inflammatory and popping tylenol left and right. The pain does not go away. It’s also accompanied by a backgound headache that lingers on ALL DAY. I’m still waiting for a reply and since I sent it Thursday I figure, Ill give it until tomorrow.

I just dont know what to do. I am so tired of this whole procedure and my biggest fear at this point is giving up and “living with the pain.” My teeth are moving every day as I can actually SEE them starting to go diagonal. Perhaps its a quick fix? I don’t know but I just need answers.

Im going back to Dr. Mac in a couple weeks, a day after christmas and this time i have to go alone. Lovely. Just what I want is to have to go to NYC when everyone else is at home with their families. What a bummer.

I’m wondering what he’s going to do though? Apparently bonding of some sort, reshaping, and the like. But is anyone playing attention to the pain!? I don’t care about the shape of my teeth, I care about the pain.

I wish they would read my blog as maybe that would make them realise how much distress I’m in. I am just worried and in a lot of pain 😦

I’m a person that doesn’t do well “yelling” at people or showing anger, even when warranteed.

 

 

A year ago today I was in a hospital room in Santa Barbara, California. Suctioning blood from my mouth and nose, I had my morphine pump in hand. (My close pal for the next 20 hours.) I shudder at the thought of what I was about to go through. The months of not eating, losing 20 pounds, and overall weakness, both physical and mental.

I wish I could say Im so happy to be done with it. But there was something about knowing “this is going to get better for me” that Im not feeling today, and that I was feeling a year ago.

My jaw is a crunching machine whenever I chew. I dont go through the day without pain or a headache. I’ve gone back to taking Advil like it’s a job…..

Im right back where I started.

To update you: I have been prescribed a strong anti inflammatory that I will start taking sunday. I could start tonight but honestly, I want to have a glass of wine this weekend and mixing meds with alcohol is never a good idea. I’ve had to make an emergency doctors appointment with a “stranger” in my area who will do something to my bite, not sure what. I fear anyone unknown touching my jaw. As someone put it I had “my jaw taken out of my skull, sawed, and fastened back in.”

I am starting to lose hope that this is really the end of my journey. Who knows if I will have to get more surgery? The thought is simply shocking, I jus’t cant imagine what it would do to me….physically, mentally, and financially.

Along with my appointment, I got an email saying I would have to get impressions done that would cost me 200 dollars for the labor, shipping.

My first thought is “no, I cant afford anything more. I just spent more then five hundred dollars to go to New York City for an appointment that was cancelled.” But then I think to myself, what else am I supposed to do? Am I supposed to live every day in pain again? Waking up at night with excruciating aches?

It just doesn’t seem fair?

Thanks to everyone for all your support. Hugs.