Jane Fonda should do jaw exercising D.V.D’s.

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Ugh, you guys make me blush.

 

 

 

 

College is one of the hardest things I have ever had to do.

The amount of work that goes into those four years is mind boggling. Am I really learning? Probably. The facts and numbers are practically jammed into my brain it’s hard to ignore them. Sometimes I wonder how frustrating it must be to win the lottery (yes, frustrating…listen before you judge) after you’ve been through college. I mean, you’re set for life now, you can do whatever you want. If you wanted to be a doctor you could probably pay your way to having a practice without a sheet of paper informing the public you are in fact, a real doctor. Or how about people who get killed in freak accidents after they’ve completed four years of college? You just worked your butt off, and then this happened. I wonder if I could make the argument that you could have done something better with your time in those four years?

I have completed hours of studying today and now, I must complete 20 minutes of exercising my jaw. Three times a day people, that’s a WHOLE hour. (See? I learned how to add in college.) I wish I could do my exercises spread out throughout the day like, in the morning, maybe at lunch, and then at night but no. I wake up and like a deranged animal head straight to breakfast, no time for exercises here. Then, there’s class. Yay. No time for exercises here either.

By this time its noon and I’ll have some free time so I sit myself down and try to do my jaw exercises. Of course  people all around me are wondering what the heck I’m doing…Just sitting there open and closing my mouth as wide as possible, sometimes I try to measure how far I can open. Who knows what they think right?

There are some classes where I’ve come to the conclusion that I don’t care if people stare at me. I just do my exercises willingly, every now and then I’ll pretend Im yawning. Usually I save the pretend yawning for the car because I don’t like the idea of people watching me while I’m driving, makes me kinda uncomfortable.

On another note, probably a more humorous one that like the former, I don’t really care about. My college has a website where people write down their “crushes” on people they’ve seen around campus. Kind of like a shout-out to let someone know you think they’re cute like Craigslist “missed connections” it’s completely anonymous.

So anyways, there I am updating myself on current crushes that I’m never featured in. Sad, but true. Whatever, I’m on the path to having a beautiful smile.

Anyways, there I am when suddenly I see my name, “Ashley…”

I get so excited, until I see this

 

I am not even joking. THIS is what gets posted about me.

Out of all people….

Out of all the things you could have picked.

What happened to complementing someones hair…or their eyes? And how does this person know I stretch my jaw!? Could it be that my fake yawning has failed me and someone knows what I’m really doing? Could someone be hiding behind a couch watching me do my exercises?

I am perplexed to say the least.

I shall be watching my surroundings. Looking for this individual with either a jaw fetish or an exercise fetish.  Regardless you will not stop me from following doctors orders sir/ma’am?? I shall complete my one hour of daily exercises like a champ.

Thank you. 

Eating

Just got back from dinner and man, it is difficult knowing what’s soft chew! One of the things on our list of “okay soft chew foods” are french fries, So that’s what I ordered. French fries.

When they got there I noticed they looked especially crunchy and upon eating one realised these were a lot tougher then I had expected. “What do I do?” I start thinking. “I cant send them back and ask for less crunchy fries, thats crazy!”

So I continue to eat them. And now here I am, worrying I’ve fractured my jaw and will need to have the surgery AGAIN and this time, they’re going to have to take a piece of my hip bone as a graft, yikes. Anyone else have this experience? Eating something that you’re not sure was okay?

Mind you, this has happened before. I microwaved some delicious pasta and the micrwave must have made it harder. By the time I chewed on it, I was a hungry hippo and ate the whole thing. It was mama’s pasta and I couldn’t stop myself!

Here’s the frantic email I sent Dr Gunsons office five minutes after indulging:

Hi Kim,

I made the mistake today of heating up some pasta from yesterday. Didn’t realize that

microwaving the pasta would make it a lot harder. It was so good I ate most of it but left a few pieces that looked specially tougher.

It won’t happen again but it’s not like I’ve done some terrible damage to my jaw right? It feels okay… But I’m doubting myself thinking I chewed something too hard, will need surgery again, and you’re going to have to take a hip graft from me!!

Reassure me?

 

PS I will never eat pasta from a microwave!

 

Her response:

Ashley,

It is fine.  You can’t do damage by eating microwave pasta, I promise!!  No more surgery for you and no hip. 

You’re so funny.  Have a great day.

Stay away from the microwave. J

Kim

 

Isn’t Kim the best? I know Im being overly worried but my jaw is soar now and Im really worrying that I fractured it or something? Then again, isnt a fracture a broken bone-like situation? Wouldnt I be in excruciating angst?

Good side of this sad story is that:

A) I know not to microwave pasta.

B) I know to stay away from crunchy fries.

 

xoxo

 

So. Busy. ……When is graduation?

When will I graduate!? I am so packed with work, I have no excuse for not writing lately but…..I’M JUST SO PACKED WITH WORK.

So this is my second week on soft chew and it’s been magical. I am back to eating pasta and had sushi tonight. Mind you, this is sushi without the seaweed because that’s a no no. I would have to say that the food I notice the most that I can’t eat is potato chips, nuts, and hamburgers. For some reason those things are just in my face lately and I’m not permitted to have any of them. Its better than eating only liquid though so I shouldn’t complain.

I am still keeping those 20 pounds that I lost off, It’s been a struggle! I’m going to Aruba for spring break and let’s just say, the good things that have come out of the liquid diet (aka the weight loss) need to stick around for a just a wee bit longer. I’m back to going to the gym and my energy is back to normal now, it feels great. I’m not sure if I’m supposed to do weights yet because of the clenching but I’m sure its written in my booklet. If any of you know, respond to me!?

 (Me and my friend, clashing shirt patterns…I know)

So. The parents are in India and I dont have anyone to take my mug shot but, I have lots of pictures of me with friends..in my natural habitat. Im still keeping my mouth closed because my bottom lip is still numb and I think its causing my smile to look slightly unbalanced. I’ve gotten a bit more feeling in my bottom lip and chin so that’s exciting, hopefully I will get it all back. Fingers crossed!

I do my jaw exercises three times a day for twenty minutes, take my medicines, and I’m wearing my elastics at night. I have to wear one in the back for a little bit more time because the left side of my bite isn’t closing as well….I think. It’s all very scientific and I honestly don’t understand a lot of the things the doctors say hehe, its gibberish to me.

(Me and my room-mate!)

Can we just talk about how whenever I see a group of highschool girls I automatically want to be their friend because I know they probably have braces too? It’s a new thing I do. Oh, and showing people my ID when I’m trying to get into a bar? Fabulous. I’ve gotten some stares because I look kind of different and one gentleman decided to ask me to “smile.”  Yeah, that’s not going to help me look anymore like my license sir.

So, these are my updates, I am more than happy to answer any questions. I apologize once more for the lack of writing I’m doing, I just want to graduate.

(A group of us 🙂

Thanks for reading my blog everyone! And rest in peace Whitney, what a tragic loss 😦