Anyone got a definiton for “light cardio?”

Today was my first attempt at “light cardio.” After surgery the 4 week mark is when this is allowed. I entered not really knowing what “light cardio” entailed.

Could it be jogging? Perhaps some stair master, I’m quite a fan of it, or perhaps it means brisk walking?

I google searched it on my phone and nothing came back. Maybe if I tried searching for images of this mystery of “light cardio” I would understand it more.

This is what I found:

This image taken from: http://sexdietanddrugs.tumblr.com/post/3494851455/dancer-exercise-routine-warm-up-for-2-or-more

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

It may just be me but, this “light cardio” seems like quite a challenge. I don’t think my legs are able to move in such a position. Feeling defeated at my attempts to understand “light cardio” I resorted to youtube.What I found, was worse….

(Video taken from “The Jordan Workout” feat. Katie Price)

I considered both of the above (extensively) but resorted to taking things into my own hands. Seeing where my mind and enthusiasm would take me.

Before leaving for the gym I force-fed myself a protein shake concoction that tasted like chalk mixed with chocolate powder.The taste was…..manly. I needed a lot of energy for this “light cardio” investigation!
On my drive over I planned my work out, I’ll warm up, do some light jogging, I’ll go on that machine that makes people look like they’re running on air.

I get to the gym ready for my “light cardio” and realise I am now in the abyss of the gym….I’m feel vulnerable, what if my light cardio is actually severe cardio!? What if Im too weak and I pass out? Worst, what if I pass out and hit my jaw on the floor causing it to break, I lay unconscious, blood spritzing out, my little jaw broken.I wake up in critical care, Dr. Gunson is there and he says “Ashley…First of all let me tell you how great you look! We had to redo the surgery….and since you broke your jaw…no solid food for 6 months! Oh and we’re giving you some medicine that causes 90% of patients to gain about 100 pounds. ps.Dont worry about your nose, it was broken when you fell but we can fix that in a year when the immense swelling goes down,and remember Ashley, it’s the inside that counts.”

I have a very vivid imagination.
I enter the gym and go straight to the track. I start walking, I’m doing well, walking to the beat of Rihanna singing “you da one,” this is going well. I come to complete a full circle on the track.

I am exhausted.

Two young lads speed past me, I’m left behind like the turtle.”Wait for me!” I want to call out, but my mind is screaming at me “AH THE AGONY, PLEASE…REST. I CANT FEEL MY LEGS…MY MIND IS NUMB! Is that David Hasselhoff running at me!?”

I’m pooped and….delusional? A possible side effect of my experimenting with what “light cardio” is?

I continue walking long enough for Katy Perry and Adele to sing a ballad to me. Mind you this is not brisk walking. I hold on to the railing, only a few more steps….Ah.

5 minutes on the track, yes!
Next step is the elliptical, I figure I’m going to be gliding, it’ll be relaxing….
I’m 1 minute in and I feel like I’m going to have a seizure or my legs are going to fall off. Or worse, my jaw could fall off!?

I’m in the main room now so everyone present has seen me.I can’t get off the machine now!? They’ll think im the laziest person. I speak to myself, mentally….”Come on Ashley, 50 calories, you can do it!”
Yeah….NO.
I give up and stumble off the death trap of a machine. As a courtesy to everyone around ( probably appalled at my fatigue after a measly 2 and 1/2 minute work out) I even clean my machine with the spray. Considering I didn’t shed a drop of sweat I am probably cleaning up someone else’s sweat. A good deed done!

By now, I have decided I’m not giving up on the idea of light cardio . I am allowed to be exhausted I tell myself. I HAVE JUST HAD MAJOR JAW SURGERY AND YES, I HAVE SPENT MORE TIME IN BED THEN OUT OF IT, AND YES WHEN I GET OUT OF BED IT’S TO GET NUTELLA…..AND YES,  BY THE TIME IM BACK IN BED, IM EXHAUSTED.
But you know what? That’s okay I tell myself. Little baby steps…..little baby steps.

My post ends where I began. The meaning, of “light cardio.” Light cardio, in my opinion, involves light walking….perhaps a stroll in the park? Or a trip to the grocery store making sure you go down each aisle. Perhaps you can play some hopscotch?

Jump rope would be far too tiring.

How long do you have to have those?


I went to get some soup at a new “restaurant” downtown. The reason I say “restaurant” is because it has tables and chairs but you have to order your food at your counter and then you get herded to the other side of the counter like a cow.

Credit: PHOTOSTOCK-ISRAEL/SCIENCE PHOTO LIBRARY

—–> Just like that

 

 

 

 

 

 

“Restaurant” without the italics would be giving it far too much credit. I walked up to the counter and said
“Hi, Which one of your soups has no pieces in it?” (Reminder: I am on a liquid/with particle diet 🙂

*The lady behind the register looked at me, confused.
I knew I would have to explain my current situation to her.

“It’s just….I had jaw surgery and I can’t chew anything…it can have little pieces but I just can’t chew.”
The lady’s eyes got so wide, she looked absolutely terrified (and I know it wasn’t my face she was reacting to, I happen to have worn makeup on this cold day, I looked presentable) she turned to her co-worker at the other register, whispering in her ear. *Middle school flashback* THEY ARE TOTALLY TALKING ABOUT ME.
“What did you have done?” said the co-worker, perplexed. She was interested. I’m a rare species apparently and she wants to investigate  before I can order.
I told her it was jaw surgery and asked my question again.  The two ladies turned to each other and began discussing the soups, a line begins to form next to me. The next person in line just stood there staring at my jaw.

“Vegetable would be good for her, right?”

“No, the vegetable has vegetables in it”

(One of these ladies is definitely trying to kill me with her chunky soup. I have to be careful at this point.)

“French onion soup might work?”

“Fine” I answered back, “that sounds really good!” I decided I would bring it home and just blend it. This was the first thing I would eat that day, I was very hungry!

I thought I was in the clear until they began to ask questions..
“What did they do, did it hurt?”
(the person next in line is irked, she’s hungry and does not want to wait any longer)
I smiled and said “yea, it hurt a lot, especially after” to which the lady smiled, and (I AM NOT MAKING THIS UP,) goes
“Oh, I have a baby, I bet it’s not as bad.”

I smiled……
Oh yeah! Of course not, because yu know, having a baby  is very similar to having your bones cracked and replaced. I see the similarities.
I smiled and thanked her.

**My French Onion soup was heavenly by the way.

I almost forgot the reason for my title! The question above has been a reoccurring theme in my rare outings, when I decide to get dressed and stop watching Nip/Tuck with my cat.

When someone hears of my surgery a large percent (ALL MEN) look at me and go,”oh, how long do you have to wear those?”

……Awkward.

Those what? I’m confused, I stare back at them….The screw and hook jutting out of my bone? Or do you mean the elastic bands that tie my jaw shut so it doesn’t fall off my face?(exaggeration) Or is it the braces? Or no wait, is it the titanium pieces in my face, cause get what, those are permanent…that’s right, they are in there…foreverrrrrrrrr.

*Obviously, I politely answer their question even though the above, is running through my head.

Theres no “get better” comment, or questions that actually matter. No. It’s “how long do you have to wear those?” Next time, I’m going to scare them away and answer with “Why? Do they bother you? Is the light reflecting off my metal hook and blinding you?”

Feels good to vent. And let me just say, that from all you readers, I like all your lovely questions. There’s a difference between knowing the whole story and then asking for details. My jaw and I are very sensitive to newcomers and their nosy questions, takes us a while to get used to people.

Almost forgot, here are my pictures for today. My photographer wasn’t available so I did them myself!

The cat food looks so good…..

Due to my lower lip being numb, I didn’t realise this what happening:

It looks like I know it’s happening, I realise…but, I have NO feeling in my bottom lip. You should watch me try to eat ice cream…it’s pathetic.
So Bailey the dog got to first base…

I survived jaw surgery…I can survive dog kisses.

& on the topic of animals, my title refers to a moment of hunger I had at dinner. The smell of cat food has become surprisingly appetizing to me, and it is blendable. It’s nice to have options in moments of such desperation…

http://earthfirst.com/wp-content/uploads/2008/10/bush-eating-cat.jpg

Hope you all had a wonderful first week of 2012. I did a whole lot of nothing, it involved me not leaving the house, watching tv shows, and ordering smoothies from the beauty that is Boloco! (Nutella smoothie with added bananas, can I get a yeaaaa?)
Today I had my second appointment with the orthodontist, Dr Chira and a special visitor from NYC, Dr.Mac who has been part of my superstar team since the beginning. They were both so happy at how much my swelling went down and started complimenting me, it was nauseating! Nah just kidding, I loved it 🙂

I can open my mouth 15mm now, a big improvement and I am now on track with expectations. At my first appointment my opening wasn’t cutting it, so I amped up my competitiveness and ta-dah,  15 mm! Dr. Mac made some adjustments to my teeth that didn’t feel like a big deal but apparently it was a huge adjustment. Something about me being able to open wide enough that they could now do what they needed to do.

Fascinating how I walked into the office with a couple of issues with my movement and after 3 minutes of working on a couple of teeth, the issues were fixed.

Usually Dr. Gunson likes his patients to go back to him after  8 weeks, just to make sure everything is going okay. We weren’t sure if I would need to do this since I was really doing okay but after some thought, the doctors decided going back would be helpful in the end. Oh well, this means I’ll have to leave the grey and snow for the warm weather of California, how horrible..not. I already booked my ticket!

Apart from my swelling going down, I have reached a plateau with my weight loss. (20 pounds) I continue to eat my soups and even had some french onion soup tonight, it was yummy. I don’t need any medicine for pain, including Tylenol and the only discomfort is when I’m doing my exercises and my jaw seems to be saying “ugh, Can’t you see I’m trying to rest? Rude.”

So here are my pictures!

Just a reminder that if anyone has questions, comment, I’ll respond right away!

Happy New Years!

2012 is here!

I went out with two of my close friends for new years eve, scary but I made it home safe and sound! I am so thankful they came over for the night (this involved getting on a boat to cross a lake mind you, not just a ten minute drive.) I took a protein shake with me and put it in my car incase I got light-headed, thankfully there was no need for it. Getting ready was tiring but fun, my first night wearing a full face of makeup and actually trying to look presentable. After going into the first place, we ended up staying there the whole evening…It was packed. There was nothing more terrifying than walking through the crowd, elbows of highly intoxicated youngsters, drinks in the air, it was an obstacle course. I spent my walks through the bar with my hands in front of my face I was so scared. I even put my phone up to my ear to make it look like I was talking on it….little did they know I was just protecting myself.

The weather was not as cold as past years, thank goodness. I was ready to feel my titanium pieces in my face get cold, apparently that can happen, but I didn’t feel it. The only thing that bothered me was driving over potholes, definitely a bother to the jaw. And walking alone is still a little bit of a struggle, I like to hold on to an arm for stability….Winter cold means icy pavement….a scary thought for me.

So I’m glad I survived my first night out, exhausting but it felt so good to be around people. It felt bizarre at the same time, I didn’t feel like I looked like myself, or that people were looking at the swelling. One of the weird things was with my ears still blocked from my plane ride the music in the bar was so loud! I couldn’t really hear people and I felt like people couldn’t hear me even though I swear I was yelling. I look forward to being able to go out without getting tired and looking less swollen.

Ah I cannot wait!

As for what people said about my “new” look? My friends said I looked great and still like me, thank goodness.

Here are some pictures of me on New Years, looking a little more presentable 🙂 I was so exhausted, this is at 3 in the morning when I got home and ate. Mother is so cute she insisted I take pictures…this is two of what I swear was a 15 minute photoshoot haha.