Today was my first attempt at “light cardio.” After surgery the 4 week mark is when this is allowed. I entered not really knowing what “light cardio” entailed.
Could it be jogging? Perhaps some stair master, I’m quite a fan of it, or perhaps it means brisk walking?
I google searched it on my phone and nothing came back. Maybe if I tried searching for images of this mystery of “light cardio” I would understand it more.
This is what I found:
It may just be me but, this “light cardio” seems like quite a challenge. I don’t think my legs are able to move in such a position. Feeling defeated at my attempts to understand “light cardio” I resorted to youtube.What I found, was worse….
(Video taken from “The Jordan Workout” feat. Katie Price)
I considered both of the above (extensively) but resorted to taking things into my own hands. Seeing where my mind and enthusiasm would take me.
Before leaving for the gym I force-fed myself a protein shake concoction that tasted like chalk mixed with chocolate powder.The taste was…..manly. I needed a lot of energy for this “light cardio” investigation!
On my drive over I planned my work out, I’ll warm up, do some light jogging, I’ll go on that machine that makes people look like they’re running on air.
I get to the gym ready for my “light cardio” and realise I am now in the abyss of the gym….I’m feel vulnerable, what if my light cardio is actually severe cardio!? What if Im too weak and I pass out? Worst, what if I pass out and hit my jaw on the floor causing it to break, I lay unconscious, blood spritzing out, my little jaw broken.I wake up in critical care, Dr. Gunson is there and he says “Ashley…First of all let me tell you how great you look! We had to redo the surgery….and since you broke your jaw…no solid food for 6 months! Oh and we’re giving you some medicine that causes 90% of patients to gain about 100 pounds. ps.Dont worry about your nose, it was broken when you fell but we can fix that in a year when the immense swelling goes down,and remember Ashley, it’s the inside that counts.”
I have a very vivid imagination.
I enter the gym and go straight to the track. I start walking, I’m doing well, walking to the beat of Rihanna singing “you da one,” this is going well. I come to complete a full circle on the track.
I am exhausted.
Two young lads speed past me, I’m left behind like the turtle.”Wait for me!” I want to call out, but my mind is screaming at me “AH THE AGONY, PLEASE…REST. I CANT FEEL MY LEGS…MY MIND IS NUMB! Is that David Hasselhoff running at me!?”
I’m pooped and….delusional? A possible side effect of my experimenting with what “light cardio” is?
I continue walking long enough for Katy Perry and Adele to sing a ballad to me. Mind you this is not brisk walking. I hold on to the railing, only a few more steps….Ah.
5 minutes on the track, yes!
Next step is the elliptical, I figure I’m going to be gliding, it’ll be relaxing….
I’m 1 minute in and I feel like I’m going to have a seizure or my legs are going to fall off. Or worse, my jaw could fall off!?
I’m in the main room now so everyone present has seen me.I can’t get off the machine now!? They’ll think im the laziest person. I speak to myself, mentally….”Come on Ashley, 50 calories, you can do it!”
I give up and stumble off the death trap of a machine. As a courtesy to everyone around ( probably appalled at my fatigue after a measly 2 and 1/2 minute work out) I even clean my machine with the spray. Considering I didn’t shed a drop of sweat I am probably cleaning up someone else’s sweat. A good deed done!
By now, I have decided I’m not giving up on the idea of light cardio . I am allowed to be exhausted I tell myself. I HAVE JUST HAD MAJOR JAW SURGERY AND YES, I HAVE SPENT MORE TIME IN BED THEN OUT OF IT, AND YES WHEN I GET OUT OF BED IT’S TO GET NUTELLA…..AND YES, BY THE TIME IM BACK IN BED, IM EXHAUSTED.
But you know what? That’s okay I tell myself. Little baby steps…..little baby steps.
My post ends where I began. The meaning, of “light cardio.” Light cardio, in my opinion, involves light walking….perhaps a stroll in the park? Or a trip to the grocery store making sure you go down each aisle. Perhaps you can play some hopscotch?
Jump rope would be far too tiring.